Better Names for Washington Redskins, According to a Two-Year-Old

Three weeks after I finished Margaret Atwood’s brilliant MadAddam trilogy, I am still drifting off and daydreaming about the books. The characters. The world. And the excellent names. She does some great satire, and part of it is her ability to make up names for products (and I’m including genetically engineered animals in “products”) that sound just ridiculous enough to be actual names. Chickie Nob Nuggets. Rakunks (raccoon/skunk hybrids). Liobams. (Lion/lamb hybrids, commissioned by a cult that thought it could bring about the end of the world by genetically forcing the lion and lamb to lie down together.)

Not that he’s Margaret Atwood, but my boy has some skills with naming. My husband asked him what he thought would be a better, less controversial name for the Washington Redskins, and this is what he came up with….(Note: We are not sure he understood the question.)

Washington Firefighters
Washington Fire Trucks
Washington Hoses (are you seeing a trend here?)
Washington Big Buildings (we were in Atlanta at the time of this conversation)
Washington Playgrounds
Washington Balls
Washington Bars (he means nutrition bars)