The Glamorous World of Book Signings

I went to a reading/signing in Pinson, Al., today, and my limo broke down in the highway. That’s the kind of problem you always face with booksignings. Limo trouble. And sometimes the bright lights of the paparazzi give me a really stabbing headache. 

Jokes.  Limos are not the kind of trouble you have at booksignings. No paparazzi. (Although I did have a guy ask me to sign his chest once…have I mentioned that?) I did go to a reading in Pinson, and the people there were very nice and engaged, but there were four of them. Three if you don’t count the librarian. THAT is the kind of problem you have at booksignings. Pinson’s 30 minutes away, and it’s a little depressing to drive there for four people. Of course, we drove to Charlotte and there were NO people except for a lovely sister-in-law and some of my favorite bookstore owners.

Sometimes signings are not good for self-esteem. Or maybe it might ultimately be a good thing humility-wise that you can have 70 people in one city and then two people in the next city. Humility, schmumility.

Still, I think I should come up with a plan to make poorly attended readings more fun. At least for myself. I’d really like to show up talking in a British accent, but I suspect no one would believe it. Although, hey, my bio says I’m from Birmingham, which does not necessarily mean Alabama. I would like to learn to juggle and play the harmonica, although not at the same time. Either of those would lend themselves to spicing up readings.  My stepkids and I just made up a dance to “Beat It” that I think I might could perform while reading the first page  of “Come in and Cover Me.”

Also, I can stand on my head for more than a minute. Come to my next reading and see!